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| i started class today. i had 2 classes this morning and i have one more in an hour. so my classes were ok. i'm happy cuz someone i actually know, amberly, is in my econ class!!  but alas, the good feeling went away when i went to my history class and the teacher said she wanted her office number to be 666.  yea...so bible study starts up again tonight. :) yayy. and only like 2 more days till i get to see the love of my life again. it's hard to believe that i can already miss a person even though i have only been away from him for less than 24 hours.
oh! oh! here's some big news. spring break is going to amazing because the plan is that sandra and i are going to go to spain!!! im way beyond excited. but i am going to have to work my butt off to meet the financial expectation. but it's ok. it is going happen!! hopefully...and if spain doesnt work out, maybe sandra and i can go to hawaii or something.. haha! i will spend the whole spring break with that woman on a beach if its the last thing i do!! haha.
loooove
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| welp, here i am once again. sandra and i got a lot of my crap moved back into my dorm room on thursday. and i had my interview. which i think went really well. i really dont think i got the job, but that's alright. :] i still love that job. yesterday dizzy and i went out on a date.  it was so fun. we went to on the border and dave and busters. good times. and today has been nothing but sitting around and watching heroes. lolz. it's been quite fun. just a couple more days until i have to go back to the mean green school... i'm not exactly thrilled.
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| but i love it. i forgot how much i liked writing my feelings and crap down and i feel gay doing it in a journal or something. so i am going to spill what is going on right now in me life and hopefully i will keep this updated:
first of all, i am a student at the university of north texas. i'm not exactly digging it because i don't have any friends there and i'm not a big fan of denton. but they're paying me to go there. so when people ask me how i like school i just lie through my teeth and say i love it. i hate myself more and more everytime i saw i love UNT. I just feel like everyone there is working against what i am supposed to be. of course, i have no idea what that is yet, but it's not what all these other people. i thought college was all about finding yourself and figuring out what you want to do. but all i experience is being talked into doing something i dont want to do and being thrown on this guilt trip for not being in my dorm room all the time. sorry for having a life and going to work. and, oh gosh, when people find out i go home every weekend they absolutely FLIP. i just dont see why i should stay there when my house is like 30 minutes away, a boy that loves me very much is at home, i have a greater chance of hanging out with my best friend when i'm at home, and i actually love my mom and grandparents. i want to spend as much time with them as possible before it's too late. so, apparently, i am crazy for wanting my college years to be over already, but i just cant stand this whole college life thing. the only good thing that has come out of unt is my bible study. i have met the most amazing girls ever that share the love of God with me. i am so thankful for that. i have become a lot stronger in my religion and have become a happier person because of it. Everything will be ok as long as i have my God.
I am in love with an amazing guy, Dizzy. oh no, he's still in high school!! people are so shallow. does it really matter? in the long run, why would you want to limit yourself to only be able to pic your future spouse from a constricted selection? wouldn't you want to marry anyone you want? i would think so. He is so sweet and good to me. and he has really helped my get over some major hills in my life. i think we totally understand each other. of course, our parents dont see it working out. i actually just got a text message from him that his mom said she doesnt want him marrying me because i am his first girlfriend. and she married her first boyfriend (dizzy's dad) and now they're going through a major divorce. but that's 20 years and 3 sons later. i can't believe she would regret that. some people just surprise me.
i have an interview today at 2 for a supervisor position at the unt call center that i work at. it's where we call alumni and get them to donate to the school. i really hope it goes well. but i am not really expecting anything, since i have only been working there for one semester. i would bet people would be more qualified for it than me. but, there is always the experience and getting my name in the pot for when another supervisor position opens up.
i was right. this feels good to write all this out. hopefully i will be able to keep it up. :]
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| if you are just now finding my xanga....don't get too keen on checking in for updates...its not gonna happen | | |
| might as well update since its 1:41 in the morning and i can't sleep
so much anxiety lately....work, school, friends, blah. too much stress.
i just wanna get away for a while....
my life is falling apart....i don't have time to breathe anymore....i don't know what to do. My self-esteem has gone to crap. and i'm so stressed out that i can't help but totally chew out the ones i love...i don't mean to....it just comes out...
i feel like i'm the worst person in the world. why people want to be around me....i have no idea.
i guess you just gotta deal sometimes. that's my philosophy. that's why this post may seem as a shock to some of you. You may have had no idea what was going on in the world of victoria. well here's your little insight.
sucks....doesn't it?
welp, i should probably be doing something productive with this spare time...
see ya.....toRRie
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